I have anxiety about a performance review. How do I prepare?
Performance reviews have a reputation for being daunting, anxiety-provoking, and full of surprises. Have you gotten an unfair performance review? Maybe it was a good performance review, but the way you’re being treated after the review doesn’t reflect the good feedback. Or there were unpleasant surprises in your review. Or maybe your boss is putting off your performance review or refuses to give you feedback.
Receiving feedback at work shouldn’t make you feel like you’re on the chopping block. So, what should a performance review look like? It should be a healthy conversation between you and your manager where you both reflect on your achievements, discuss areas for improvement and development, and set goals that support you in succeeding in your role.
Unfortunately, not all performance reviews go as smoothly as they should.
How to tell if something is off with your performance review
Your performance review should be seamless, helpful and supportive. It should be a conversation that supports your growth. Unfortunately, not everyone has good experiences with performance reviews. There can be a few unexpected surprises and curveballs thrown your way.
Here are some ways to tell if something is off with your performance review:
Your manager puts it off
One of the most frustrating performance review experiences is when you can’t even get one. Performance reviews are essential because they allow you to develop your skills and grow in your role. If your manager is putting it off, it can be hard to know what they appreciate about your work and how you can improve. Many people feel that they’re unappreciated at work or suspect they could be doing something differently, but they don’t know how they’re doing because their review is long overdue.
Your manager could be delaying your performance review for various reasons:
Your manager may be uncomfortable delivering your feedback. No matter what the feedback is, it could help you improve and it’s their responsibility to discuss these points with you.
Your manager hasn’t made your review a priority. This could cause them to work on your performance review at the last minute.
Your manager underestimated how much time they’d have to spend on the review process, which delays the delivery of your feedback.
As Empower Work users have shared:
“I…asked for a performance review last year, my boss pushed it off and probably forgot about it so I had to ask a second time…I was pretty annoyed that I had to ask twice for the review.”
“I have been with this agency for 6 years. They are unresponsive and do not want to have any type of performance review or feedback.”
There are surprises during the review
There should be few, if any, surprises in your review. Ideally, you should already have a pretty good idea of where you’ve excelled and the skills that your manager wants you to improve due to helpful and consistent feedback.
In some cases, people are thrown off by surprises in their performance reviews. Maybe your manager raises the point that your learning progress is slow, but you had no idea. The longer a manager waits to bring things to their employees’ attention, the longer and more difficult it’s going to be for an employee to improve. This also hinders progress within the organization.
As Empower Work users have shared:
“The comments in my reviews don't align with any of the discussions we've had during our 1:1 meetings.”
"I started to really get depressed which impacted my work performance….they knew something was wrong but never addressed it or simply asked….I found out that the VP of our group had gone to HR…and said that my boss was having performance issues with me...but my performance or lack thereof was never discussed with me.”
“It's hard to change when you're not too sure what you're doing wrong or how to change and make it better.”
Sometimes, people fear there will be negative surprises because they never receive critical feedback in their day-to-day schedule. This can cause feelings of anxiety, being unappreciated, or stress.
An Empower Work user shared:
“I am having anxiety about my performance…I just started a new job and although I have experience, I am still really nervous about making mistakes…In my review, she stated that I need to work on 'building rapport with my superiors’.”
Your review seems unfair or biased
When you walk out of a performance review feeling discouraged or unappreciated, it’s likely that you may feel that the feedback was unfair, biased, or didn’t reflect your hard work at all. You may have seen this poor review coming, but it can still leave you feeling disappointed and surprised.
Sometimes, performance reviews that seem unfair can leave people feeling undervalued and like their hard work doesn’t matter.
As an Empower Work user shared:
“I had my annual performance review last week and it left a bad taste in my mouth….the review was generally neutral and I was told I am 'achieving' but there were several delegitimizing comments and I feel undervalued…”
“I received an unfair performance review, when I questioned my boss he advised to not pursue rebuttal as it would affect my opportunity for promotion.”
Through our text line, we also hear from people who may have had good performance reviews, but the way they are treated at work after this meeting doesn’t reflect the good feedback.
An Empower Work user shared:
“Every year I think I do great work and the performance review is glowing of my accomplishment…but then I get let down with a mediocre rating and no promotion.”
People also receive bad performance reviews that they feel don’t accurately reflect their hard work.
An Empower Work user shared:
“I was in a very toxic work situation and had a bad review despite spending tons of time working 3 roles in my one position.”
We also hear from people who feel like their performance reviews were biased, based on how they identify.
An Empower Work user shared:
“I received an unfair performance review for my role as office manager…I do feel like the feedback in the performance review was gender biased….There’s so much power in this industry and I feel like as a woman, so many times you’re told not to speak up or not to respond.”
How to be prepared for anything in a performance review
While some elements of performance reviews are out of your control, there are many things you can do to prepare yourself for this meeting. Even though performance reviews should feel helpful, stress-free, and supportive, not everyone has this experience.
Here are some ways you can be prepared for anything:
Initiate the conversation
Sometimes, it may seem like your performance review is not important to your manager because they keep putting it off. If your performance review is long overdue, initiate the conversation—be assertive. Don’t be afraid to follow up with your manager. This will show them that you care about improving in your role and that you are willing to listen to constructive criticism.
Regularly ask for feedback
Don’t wait for the performance review to ask for feedback. Your manager may hold off on their helpful criticism until the performance review (which becomes unhelpful the longer they wait), but that doesn’t mean that you can’t ask for feedback during your day-to-day schedule. This will dissolve any suspense leading up to your review. One way to create a healthy, ongoing conversation about your performance, is scheduling regular one-on-one meetings with your manager. This can help ensure that you’re on the same page and limit surprises during your review.
Remind your manager of your hard work
Performance reviews are meant to be a conversation, which means you also get a chance to speak and state your case. Be prepared to remind your manager of certain projects or skills that you’ve developed in your role. This way, it’ll be hard for your manager to create an unfair review against you. Every manager should deliver constructive feedback, but not leave you feeling undervalued. Show them that you know your worth.
You may have to dispute your manager—whether it’s directly to your manager or HR—if they make an unfair comment that contradicts your work. It may be helpful to keep records, Slack messages, emails, and notes from your manager that acknowledge your hard work. This will remind your manager that they also have shown appreciation for your work. Being able to provide any communication between you and your manager that supports your dispute will be hard for your manager to challenge.
Regroup after a review
It’s completely normal to be anxious about a performance review, whether your manager has given you a reason to be stressed or not. The bad reputation of performance reviews alone is enough to make someone anxious. Remember, not all performance reviews go awry. But if your review does go badly, it’s important to take care of yourself and regroup. If your manager delivers feedback that throws you off-guard, keep an open mind and use any feedback as a springboard to growth. Turning something that seems negative into a positive can help you regroup and move forward. If there is any feedback you disagree with or need clarification on, don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions and continue the conversation following the review.
No matter where you work or what your role is, performance reviews can seem daunting. It doesn’t have to be this way—especially if you’re prepared for anything. Being well-prepared will always give you the upper hand. If you’re stressed about an upcoming performance review or want to chat about a recent performance review experience, text 510-674-1414 for free, confidential support from a trained peer counselor.
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*Note: Empower Work provides non-legal support for workplace challenges. This information, while authoritative, is not legal advice or guaranteed for legality. Employment laws and regulations vary by state. We recommend consulting with state resources for specific interpretation and decisions. If you believe you were discriminated against in violation of the law, we recommend you seek legal advice.
