How to Quit Your Job: Leave Without Feeling Guilty
“I feel guilty about quitting. What should I do?”
Deciding to put in that two weeks notice can bring up a lot of emotions—you may be excited about a new opportunity on the horizon, or relieved to get out of a stressful work environment. Maybe you’ve just decided it’s time to move on.
Whatever your reasons for quitting, guilt can start to creep in. You may find yourself wondering, Am I leaving my manager or team in a tough spot? Will my work relationships suffer? Will my close coworkers think I have abandoned them? Am I giving up?
Feeling guilty about leaving a job is a totally normal reaction. It shows how much you care about the people impacted by your decisions, and how much you’re invested. That’s a strong reflection of your values.
At Empower Work, we’re a sounding board for people who are experiencing challenging work issues every day, and feeling guilty about leaving a job is a theme we see often. Here are some of the most common concerns we hear people struggling with when they’ve decided to leave a job, as well as some tips for dealing with them.
“I feel guilty about how quitting will impact my team.”
You may find yourself imagining all the ways that leaving a job will make things more difficult for your boss and team. Maybe they’ll have to cover your shifts, or take over your regular duties until a replacement can be hired. Maybe you know that no one will be hired to replace you for a long time.
It’s true that staff transition can complicate things—and there’s no way around that. Yet no matter what kind of disruption your departure causes, it will be temporary. The reality is that employees and managers leave jobs all the time. From a business perspective, staff transition is part of running a business, and businesses will always find a way to respond and move on.
If you’re worried about leaving your coworkers or team in a bind, consider how to complete your final tasks or share instructions so you can leave things in a way you feel proud of. Being thoughtful about how you transition your work is something you can manage; deciding how quickly to hire a replacement, or how to handle the transition, is not your responsibility. Ultimately, you only have control over your own actions and choices. You can prepare for your transition as compassionately and thoughtfully as possible, and the rest is out of your control.
“I’m worried about damaging personal relationships.”
If you’re worried that telling your boss you’re leaving may damage your relationship, remember you’re likely not the first person who’s had to share this kind of news, nor will you be the last. Have a plan for the conversation, and practice out loud beforehand. Try to stay positive about your experience and express gratitude for the opportunity. Be prepared to answer if your boss tries to convince you to stay. Remember that being concise and respectful will go a long way towards maintaining the relationship, even through a difficult conversation like this one.
Once you’ve told your boss that you’re leaving, consider how you might share the news with your coworkers in a way that would be meaningful both to you and to them. If you feel comfortable, let people know where you’ll be moving on to and give them your contact information to stay in touch.
If you’ve worked with the same people for a while, it’s normal to feel close to them, and you may not want to lose those relationships. While things may naturally change after your departure, you don’t have to completely cut ties. Close relationships don’t have to stop just because you stop working together. In fact, you may find that coworkers you’re close with will cheer you on through your transition.
“I feel guilty about leaving my coworkers in a bad situation.”
It’s normal to feel guilty about leaving people behind when you decide to quit a job—especially if you’ve been in a toxic work environment or experienced harassment, discrimination, or bias. Maybe you’re one of just a few people of a particular or underrepresented race, gender, sexual orientation, or other identity in your workplace, and you’re worried your coworkers will think you’re abandoning them. Maybe you’ve formed tight bonds with your coworkers through shared struggles. Maybe you’re all feeling burned out, yet you’re the only one who’s leaving.
Your concern shows that you’re invested not just in your own well-being, but also in the well-being of your coworkers. That type of care for others is a superpower.
At the same time, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you. If you feel you need to quit a job for any reason, honor the feeling you're having, take space for that, and give yourself permission to do what you need to do for yourself. Guilt isn’t a good reason to stay at a job that isn’t working for you.
And if the toxicity of a work environment is causing you to leave, chances are high that you’re not the only one feeling that way. By advocating for yourself or prioritizing your own well-being, you might just inspire someone else to do the same. It may even inspire some necessary structural change.
The bottom line: it’s okay to do what’s right for you
If you’re feeling guilty about leaving your job, remember that it’s a sign of just how much you care about the people you’re leaving behind. You’re invested, and that’s a good thing!
At the end of the day, though, you need to do what’s right for you, your loved ones, and your own well-being and mental health. People who care about you as a human—rather than just you as a worker—will understand that and support you.
How Can Empower Work Help?
Our text line is free, confidential, and provides non-legal support for a variety of workplace challenges, including bullying and discrimination. Our trained peer counselors act as a sounding board to help you reflect on your current situation and brainstorm the best action steps for you to help you move forward. Here's what to expect if you decide to text or chat online with an Empower Work peer counselor:
We listen. We ask what’s going on, how it’s impacting you, and what’s at stake.
We help you identify what you want. We help you look at your options, figure out what’s within your control, and get unstuck.
We make an action plan. We brainstorm next steps together and help you identify specific actions you can take.
If you're ready to chat with a counselor, text us at 510-674-1414.
