How to care for yourself when work doesn’t care about you
Do you feel like you’re putting all of the time, effort, and patience into your job, but your job or your boss isn’t returning the favor?
An Empower Work user shared:
“I requested [time] off of work to take care of my mental health, because I was getting burnt out and then I got an email from my boss saying I need to be more considerate of the days I take off and how it affects others.”
A non-reciprocal relationship with work can be draining, defeating, and can cause feelings of helplessness. So, how do you care for yourself when work doesn’t seem to care about you?
Put yourself first (Without losing your job)
Figure out what you need before anything else—are you getting enough sleep? Exercise? A good work-life balance? Set your boundaries and work within them.
If these boundaries are broken at work, listen to your body when it's told you it's had enough. When work doesn’t seem to care about you, it can lead to burnout. Experiencing burnout at work can take a toll on your body and mental well being. You might want to take that vacation or drop a project to make your plate a little less full, but you’re worried about retaliation or losing your job.
When your physical or mental health is in jeopardy, you know that the burnout you’re experiencing has gone too far. To prevent this, put yourself first at work. There are ethical ways to do this without losing your job.
Putting yourself first means not working overtime to finish that project when you’ve already worked more hours than you needed to. It means not skipping that lunch break. It means having an honest and healthy conversation with your boss or HR about how you’re feeling at work. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about and caring for yourself. The alternative would be continuous burnout and potentially a hostile work environment.
Weave self-care into your work day
It’s difficult to think about self-care in the middle of a day full of deadlines, tasks, and meetings. It’s even more difficult when you’re experiencing burnout. But your mental health must come first. It’s important to put your wellbeing first in order to not only feel at your best, but perform at your best. Taking care of yourself will be just as beneficial to your organization as it is to yourself.
So, how do you incorporate self-care into your work days? It can be a gesture as small as taking your lunch break outside or a bigger gesture like requesting to take some time off. Other workplace self-care ideas include decorating your desk, socializing with coworkers, limiting your responsibilities for the day, and listening to your favorite music. It’s also important to let go of the idea of being a perfectionist—don’t be too hard on yourself.
While self-care is a great temporary distraction, it will not fix burnout. Unfortunately, burnout is a systemic issue, and can’t always be solved individually.
An Empower Work user shared:
“Before each shift I get so anxious and panicky, I don't sleep well and I shut down with family and friends, which makes self-care really difficult because I can't relax.”
The root causes of burnout are usually determined by how you’re treated at work, the pressures you feel at work, or the general work environment you’re in.
Self-care may not fix your burnout, but it’s still important to take care of yourself, especially when your workplace isn’t.
Show appreciation for yourself
In an ideal workplace, we’d all feel valued and appreciated. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. There are many signs that you aren’t being appreciated at work—like lack of gratitude from your boss or your coworkers, bad work assignments, or a lack of support.
An Empower Work user shared:
“I do believe in self-care, but when things are going on around you and people are intentionally harassing and intimidating you, it does set you back.”
This can feel defeating, but it’s important to try and stay positive. When in doubt, be your own support system at work. It’s easier said than done, but when you’re not feeling valued at work, value yourself—acknowledge the hard work you put in on that project, reward yourself for making that deadline, compliment yourself when you’ve handled a difficult situation successfully.
A little appreciation for yourself can go a long way. You may not be able to control how others treat you, but you can control the way you treat yourself. Replace any negative thoughts with compliments and acknowledgements.
Take action
Maybe you’ve done all of these things—put yourself first, tried self-care at work, gave yourself acknowledgements. But, your work still doesn’t care about you and you’re still unhappy.
The tips above are meant to help you recognize your self-worth and to take care of yourself when work isn’t returning that favor. But if you’ve tried all of these tips and you’re still struggling, you must ask yourself: is this job worth it?
Maybe the lack of your value and appreciation is causing you to hate your job, but you need the money or you hate the idea of job hunting. In this case, it’s important to remember that every job is temporary and there are steps you can take to prepare to leave a job that you hate.
In the end, your mental and physical well being must come first. So, if work isn’t looking out for you, remember to look out for yourself. If you’re struggling to care for yourself at work, our peer counselors are always here to support you to take those next steps that are specific to your situation. Text 510-674-1414 for free, confidential support from a peer counselor.
*Note: Empower Work provides non-legal support for workplace challenges. This information, while authoritative, is not legal advice or guaranteed for legality. Employment laws and regulations vary by state. We recommend consulting with state resources for specific interpretation and decisions. If you believe you were discriminated against in violation of the law, we recommend you seek legal advice.
