Navigating National Coming Out Day at Work
National Coming Out Day, recognized each year on October 11, is a day focused on celebrating queer identity and raising awareness for the continued struggle for acceptance and equal rights for people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and/or asexual (LGBTQ+). Choosing to come out to close friends or loved ones can be an important and affirming milestone.
Choosing to come out at work, however, can feel more complicated for many people.
At Empower Work, our mission is to help ensure that workers of all backgrounds and identities can thrive. We hear from people who identify as LGBTQ+ and are struggling with whether to share their sexual orientation and/or gender expression at work, especially in smaller workplaces that offer less access to support and resources.
If National Coming Out Day—a celebratory day for so many—leaves you questioning whether you’ll be able to be your full self at work, Empower Work is here to support you.
National Coming Out Day: past and present
The roots of National Coming Out Day trace back to October 11, 1987, when over 500,000 people took to the streets in Washington, DC to demand action for the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the March for Gay and Lesbian Rights. One year later, the first National Coming Out Day was recognized.
Since then, there have been major changes to support LGBTQ+ people at work. Just last year, the Supreme Court ruled that LGBTQ+ employees are protected from discrimination based on sex (before the ruling, employees could be fired for being transgender in 26 states).
While an increasing number of people feel confident being out and proud at work, it may not feel like an option for everyone. A 2019 Glassdoor study found that 43% of LGBTQ+ employees are not fully “out” at work, with 47% saying that being out at work could hurt their career through job loss, or being passed over for a promotion or key project.
Given the vast diversity of identity and experiences within the LGBTQ+ community, the lived experiences of LGBTQ+ employees—and concerns about discrimination and bias at work—can vary drastically.
What if National Coming Out Day doesn’t feel great at work?
For each person feeling complicated about National Coming Out Day, or struggling with their identities at work, the stakes and context look different.
Perhaps you’re in a smaller workplace that doesn’t provide systems of support—no employee resource groups, HR department, or formal channels through which to advocate for change.
Perhaps you’re transgender, and contemplating hiding your gender or delaying your gender transition in an attempt to avoid discrimination. According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Report, 57% of respondents reported the same.
Perhaps you’re nonbinary, and your workplace lacks policies supporting—or basic understanding of—nonbinary identity. You’re not alone: nearly a third of nonbinary people surveyed by Out & Equal Workplace Advocates experienced discrimination in the hiring process alone.
Perhaps you’re bisexual, and worried about your identity being erased or misunderstood by those around you. One study found that 70% of bisexual people can feel excluded both by the LGBTQ+ community and the straight community.
Perhaps you identify as Black, Indigenous, or a person of color, making your experience of racism inextricably linked with your experience of queerness. The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Report includes specific reports on the unique experiences of Black, Latino/a, American Indian and Alaska Native, and Asian, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander respondents; these reports found that trans people of color face twice to five times the rate of unemployment as their cisgender counterparts.
Or, perhaps more than one of these things is true for you.
Each of these statistics are real people experiencing what can be overwhelming. Yet the good news is, there’s hope: the same U.S. Transgender Survey Report found that that 78% of those who transitioned from one gender to the other reported increased comfort at work and increased job performance. Millennials are more than twice as likely to identify as LGBTQ+, nonbinary, or gender fluid than previous generations, and will represent 75% of the workforce by 2025. In addition, one in six Gen Z adults identify as LGBTQ+, and over half know someone who uses gender-neutral pronouns.
The workforce is changing, and workplaces must change with it.
In the meantime, wherever you are, Empower Work is here to help you untangle your feelings, validate your experience, and support you in discerning the best next steps.
Supporting LGBTQ+ workers
If you’re looking for free, confidential, and immediate support, our trained peer counselors are a text away: 510-674-1414.
If you’re looking for strategies to help make your workplace more inclusive to LGBTQ+ workers of all backgrounds, here are a few places to start:
Out & Equal Workplace Advocates has a guide of best practices for non-binary inclusion in the workplace.
NPR’s Life Kit on 4 ways to make your workplace equitable for trans people includes specific steps and resources.
This visual guide on how to talk about pronouns at work from Harvard Business Review offers specific and accessible strategies.
Glassdoor’s checklist for empowering LGBTQ employees is especially useful for larger organizations.
You can also check out our Empower Work blog posts on how to create a more inclusive workplace culture: Part 1: Commit to Learning and Part 2: Take Action.
Creating more inclusive workplaces takes everyone—and can start with you.
Celebrating Queer Identity
Our collective understanding of gender identity and sexual orientation is becoming more expansive, and this trend will only continue.
In the meantime, Empower Work celebrates you. We see you, we hear you, we’re with you.
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If you’re wondering how to navigate National Coming Out Day at work, text us 510-674-1414 to get in touch with a trained peer counselor immediately and anonymously.
